


Bro Code Article 87

by orphan_account



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Developing Relationship, Gratuitous Use of TV Dialogue, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:52:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8650417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A bro shall, at all times, say yes.





	

“So he saved you from an avalanche?” the girl with the big earrings asked.

 

“Yes,” Ted replied. Loyal to the bro code, though he sometimes questioned why.

 

“And he carried you six miles to safety on his broken leg?”

 

“Yes,” Ted sighed at the oblivious girl.

 

“And you’re a pre-op transsexual nightclub singer, who used to be a member of the Russian mob?” the girl asked, now smiling excitedly.

 

This was getting ridiculous.  _ “Da,” _ Ted said ‘yes’ in Russian, looking at Barney, who smirked.

 

* * *

 

  
  


“Okay,  _ what the hell? _ How was that supposed to help you get laid?” Ted asked Barney later.

 

“But  _ didn’t it? _ ” Barney asked with a smirk, crashing down on his black faux leather sofa. Ted could have questioned why they were in  _ Barney’s  _ apartment, when they almost never saw the inside of the place, but he had more pressing concerns.

 

“No, it didn’t! Her friend, who actually had a  _ brain _ , walked up, heard what was going on, and smacked you. And then she said that she would have thrown her drink in your face but she wasn’t going to waste the martini!”

 

“Ach, girls with brains ruining everything.” Barney said, kicking a shoe off. “But it wasn’t even about that.”

 

“Everything’s about getting laid with you.” Ted replied.

 

“I was testing your loyalty to the Bro Code. A review, as it were. I mean, I gave you the Code last week, and I know you get a hard-on for reading and studying historical documents.” Barney had a smug grin.

 

“It’s not a historical--” Ted sighed. “Forget it. Well, I passed, didn’t I? Now, can we go back to the bar so we can maybe have a chance of scoring some action tonight?”

 

“Mmm… nah. The test isn’t done. You just passed the first section: Public Speaking.” Barney was still smirking, but a red flush was rising his collar. Ted didn’t notice.

 

“Well, what’s the second test? More importantly,” he said, inching towards the door, “does it involve fire?” The door was unlocked. Anything that could end up with him in the hospital, he would bolt.

 

“No. The second test is called  _ Unquestionable Dedication _ .”

 

“Um, wasn’t it unquestionable enough when I said that I was a former member of the Russian mob?”

 

“That was different!  _ You  _ weren’t trying to sleep with her, I was. And step away from the door, I know what you’re trying to do, and I have the sprinklers set to ‘deter escape’.”

 

Ted was seventy percent sure that Barney was joking, but he flopped on the sofa anyway.

 

“Alright Ted, let the test begin.”

 

Ted groaned.

 

“Ted, will you… take your shoes off?” Barney was stalling.

 

He kicked them off. “Yes.”

 

“Ted, will you… shut off the T.V.?”

 

God, this was like Simon Says. But the T.V. was hurting their eyes anyway. “Yes,” he said, rolling his eyes as the room darkened to only the soft glow of a few lamps.

 

“Ted…” Barney was glad for the darkness hiding his flush, and for the fact that he’d had enough scotch that he could pass for drunk. “Will you kiss me?”

 

Ted did a double-take at the request. “What?”

 

“Will you kiss me?”

 

“Is this… is this still part of the bro code, dude? ‘Cause if it is, then doesn’t that violate Article Forty-Seven? This is a good test, man.”

 

“Theodore Evelyn Mosby… will you kiss me, yes or no?”

* * *

 

Barney was a bro. He was also a lover, boyfriend, caring partner. But like all good relationships, he was still a friend. And a friend who was his bro. And a bro always says yes.

Barney was kneeling on the ground, ring box in hand.

 

“Theodore  _ Middle-Name-Omitted _ Mosby, will you marry me?”

 

_ “Yes.” _

**Author's Note:**

> So I was watching HIMYM, and i stopped the TV and wrote this in like half an hour-- not even long enough for Netflix to queue out. Uh... so that's it. Thanks for reading!


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